Taking something up for Lent
One of my mantras since I started this blog has been the need to get creative if you want to keep your sex life going as a stroke-survivor.
Straightforward penis-in-vagina penetration under the bedclothes at 11pm on a Friday is not going to cut it - even assuming that penetration is possible, which it might not be. Erectile dysfunction is a common problem for male stroke survivors, either as a direct result of their brain damage, or as a side-effect of their post-stroke medication.
So, creativity is essential - and Mrs SS and I have decided to get creative for Lent. Yes, rather than giving something up, we are taking something up. Thanks to a friend who knows an awful lot about sexual creativity, we have a list of ways to achieve sexual arousal which specifically does not include pornography, either in film or book form.
At the moment, our (or rather, our friend's) list is 60 items long and we are looking for more. It ranges from ideas like writing and reading erotica, nipple play, role play and masturbation (of ourselves and each other) to more left-field suggestions such as cock rings, electric stimulation, sensory deprivation and threesomes (and foursomes and moresomes).
We won't get through them all during Lent, nor do we want to (some of them are a little TOO left-field, even for a sexually active and experienced couple like ourselves), but we are viewing them more as a menu from which we can make our own choices, rather than as a set-meal.
We started at the weekend, randomly choosing a few items from her list. Forsaking a Saturday afternoon of Six Nations rugby for an afternoon of sex, we spent two hours masturbating, licking nipples, kissing lips and genitals, stroking, hugging and using vibrators on each other before heading off for a shower together (I have a specially-designed chair in our shower unit because my balance is so uncertain. It makes for interesting sexual fun....).
For the next six weeks, we will make random, selections from the list, at least once a week. There will be things we don't enjoy, so we won't do them again. But there will be new experiences which will no doubt become part of our future sexual repertoire.
After all, as I've said many times, surviving stroke makes you realise just how precious life is and that it is here to be lived. Getting sexually creative is a key part of that.
Straightforward penis-in-vagina penetration under the bedclothes at 11pm on a Friday is not going to cut it - even assuming that penetration is possible, which it might not be. Erectile dysfunction is a common problem for male stroke survivors, either as a direct result of their brain damage, or as a side-effect of their post-stroke medication.
So, creativity is essential - and Mrs SS and I have decided to get creative for Lent. Yes, rather than giving something up, we are taking something up. Thanks to a friend who knows an awful lot about sexual creativity, we have a list of ways to achieve sexual arousal which specifically does not include pornography, either in film or book form.
At the moment, our (or rather, our friend's) list is 60 items long and we are looking for more. It ranges from ideas like writing and reading erotica, nipple play, role play and masturbation (of ourselves and each other) to more left-field suggestions such as cock rings, electric stimulation, sensory deprivation and threesomes (and foursomes and moresomes).
We won't get through them all during Lent, nor do we want to (some of them are a little TOO left-field, even for a sexually active and experienced couple like ourselves), but we are viewing them more as a menu from which we can make our own choices, rather than as a set-meal.
We started at the weekend, randomly choosing a few items from her list. Forsaking a Saturday afternoon of Six Nations rugby for an afternoon of sex, we spent two hours masturbating, licking nipples, kissing lips and genitals, stroking, hugging and using vibrators on each other before heading off for a shower together (I have a specially-designed chair in our shower unit because my balance is so uncertain. It makes for interesting sexual fun....).
For the next six weeks, we will make random, selections from the list, at least once a week. There will be things we don't enjoy, so we won't do them again. But there will be new experiences which will no doubt become part of our future sexual repertoire.
After all, as I've said many times, surviving stroke makes you realise just how precious life is and that it is here to be lived. Getting sexually creative is a key part of that.
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