Enjoy life - in whatever way suits you

I have great regard for people who are honest about their sexuality and their sexual preferences. My approach to sexuality has always been that as long as it involves consenting adults, I don't really care what other people get up to.

It may not be something that I want to try, but I completely understand that we are all wired differently, especially stroke survivors, so it's not for me to impose my sexual preferences on you, or to express outrage at your sexual preferences.

Consequently, I am friends with plenty of lesbian and male gay couples and while I could never do male anal sex (I think.....), I am not going to think any less of you if that's what floats your boat.

I am very good friends with people who have been involved in swinging for many years; again, it's not for me, but I'll fiercely uphold your right to do it yourself.

Until recently, however, I'd never come into contact with anyone who was involved in polyamory (defined in the Cambridge English Dictionary as the practice of having sexual or romantic relationships with two or more people at the same time). Then, someone I have known for a while through my stroke-awareness work casually announced on Facebook that she was in a polyamorous relationship with two men.

You'd have thought she would have been instantly shot down and trolled by people with a much less relaxed attitude to sex, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong. Her comment went completely un-noticed and certainly didn't get the kind of negative reaction it could have prompted.

Looking for a topic to explore in this blog, I messaged her and asked if she would be willing to discuss it. She was and we had a fascinating half-hour conversation on the subject recently. Now in her early-twenties, she told me that she had discovered she was polyamorous when she was 15. Since then, she has been in sexual relationships with women, men and those she described to me as 'gender-fluid' She is currently in relationships with two men and said that "I tend to get on better with men, but gender doesn't really affect attraction for me.''

This young lady has had her fair share of medical problems in her life and her attitudes may well have been influenced by that, as well as by my attitude that when you have to treat every day as precious, you might as well enjoy it as much as you can.

But what impressed me most about her was her willingness to talk about her polyamory, her determination to be upfront with people about it. We seem to be becoming much less judgmental about people these days, whether it relates to our sexuality or our interest in social nudity. In my opinion, that can only be applauded and it is the willingness of people like this young lady to stand up and be honest about their sexual interests that allows it to happen. Long may it continue.


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