Rolling the sex dice - and coming up trumps
It's something of a truism to say that having a stroke changed my life in lots of ways. It ended my career much earlier than expected, it nearly killed me, it almost ended my marriage BUT.....It gave me a whole new circle of friends, a new reason to enjoy living, something to do with life and a willingness to try new things.
"If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got' is one of the great truisms of life. It's supposed to be the definition of insanity. It's one of the first things I learned about life post-stroke. I'd been given a second chance, so I needed to grab it by the balls, so to speak, making the most of every opportunity life gave me.
One of those opportunities was the chance to write this blog. Before my stroke, the idea of trying out new sexual ideas and going public (albeit anonymously) about them in a blog would have been one of the furthest things from my mind.
But it's all part of the same mindset I have now. Life's too short to have regrets. It's too short not to try new experiences. You never know when the day will come when your second chance at life will suddenly end and you'll go up to Heaven (or maybe down to Hell...) thinking 'I wish I'd done that, or tried that, or had sex with that person.'
I've talked before in this blog about how my wife and I now have a box of sex toys under our bed - dildos, vibrators, penis pumps, lubricant, underwear, scarves and ties for (very) mild bondage play, DVD's, pornographic books - all the kind of stuff we thought we didn't need when I could get a healthy erection on demand and we could (and did) have sex all day and all night in a healthy variety of gymnastic positions.
When my ability to have that erection faded because of the stroke and the gazillions of tablets I take for my stroke and epilepsy, we could have given up on our sex life. We could have struggled on, trying and failing to have satisfying penetrative sex and assuming that was that - or worse, giving up on our relationship and seeking sex elsewhere.
But, much to my wife's credit as well as mine, we didn't; we started to talk much more about our situation, about what we could do and how we could do it. Hence, what we call 'The Sex Box' - an old shoe box under the bed which houses our sex collection. And this week, it got a small, simple, but satisfying, addition - bedroom dice.
This is a pack of four traditional dice, with not-very-traditional illustrations. Instead of Spades, Diamonds, Clubs and Hearts, each side has an illustration of a sexual position or suggestion for a sexual activity. They range from mild bondage to oral sex to lap-dancing to......well, insert your own idea here, I suppose.
You roll the dice (we got naked and in bed first, but I suppose you could build up the excitement by doing this well beforehand) and if an activity/position comes up with which you are both comfortable, that's what you do, for as long as you feel comfortable. If you don't agree, you keep rolling the dice until you do agree on something. We gave ourselves 30 minutes for our first try and we enjoyed our activity so much that we didn't roll the dice again. I'm not telling you what we did (after all, this blog does need some mystery....) but it was something we would never have considered in our previous sex-life.
The dice cost less than £10 to order online from a reputable seller of adult goods, but I suspect they will give us endless hours of sexy fun. And all because we are now willing to try new things.
Bedroom dice. I suggest you seek them out. Brilliant.
"If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got' is one of the great truisms of life. It's supposed to be the definition of insanity. It's one of the first things I learned about life post-stroke. I'd been given a second chance, so I needed to grab it by the balls, so to speak, making the most of every opportunity life gave me.
One of those opportunities was the chance to write this blog. Before my stroke, the idea of trying out new sexual ideas and going public (albeit anonymously) about them in a blog would have been one of the furthest things from my mind.
But it's all part of the same mindset I have now. Life's too short to have regrets. It's too short not to try new experiences. You never know when the day will come when your second chance at life will suddenly end and you'll go up to Heaven (or maybe down to Hell...) thinking 'I wish I'd done that, or tried that, or had sex with that person.'
I've talked before in this blog about how my wife and I now have a box of sex toys under our bed - dildos, vibrators, penis pumps, lubricant, underwear, scarves and ties for (very) mild bondage play, DVD's, pornographic books - all the kind of stuff we thought we didn't need when I could get a healthy erection on demand and we could (and did) have sex all day and all night in a healthy variety of gymnastic positions.
When my ability to have that erection faded because of the stroke and the gazillions of tablets I take for my stroke and epilepsy, we could have given up on our sex life. We could have struggled on, trying and failing to have satisfying penetrative sex and assuming that was that - or worse, giving up on our relationship and seeking sex elsewhere.
But, much to my wife's credit as well as mine, we didn't; we started to talk much more about our situation, about what we could do and how we could do it. Hence, what we call 'The Sex Box' - an old shoe box under the bed which houses our sex collection. And this week, it got a small, simple, but satisfying, addition - bedroom dice.
This is a pack of four traditional dice, with not-very-traditional illustrations. Instead of Spades, Diamonds, Clubs and Hearts, each side has an illustration of a sexual position or suggestion for a sexual activity. They range from mild bondage to oral sex to lap-dancing to......well, insert your own idea here, I suppose.
You roll the dice (we got naked and in bed first, but I suppose you could build up the excitement by doing this well beforehand) and if an activity/position comes up with which you are both comfortable, that's what you do, for as long as you feel comfortable. If you don't agree, you keep rolling the dice until you do agree on something. We gave ourselves 30 minutes for our first try and we enjoyed our activity so much that we didn't roll the dice again. I'm not telling you what we did (after all, this blog does need some mystery....) but it was something we would never have considered in our previous sex-life.
The dice cost less than £10 to order online from a reputable seller of adult goods, but I suspect they will give us endless hours of sexy fun. And all because we are now willing to try new things.
Bedroom dice. I suggest you seek them out. Brilliant.
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