Taking it slowly - in new directions
I began this blog primarily as somewhere to help stroke-survivors who still wanted a sex-life; those whose libido had gone up as a result of their stroke, but also those who didn't want to let go of the sex-life they had previously enjoyed; those who didn't want to let the words 'stroke-survivor' overwhelm their marriage or their relationship.
But I also did it for me and my wife; I was that survivor who didn't want to let go. And over the last few months, writing this blog has helped us massively. It has introduced us to new ways of thinking, new ways of enjoying and appreciating our sexuality.
I think the most important thing it has done is helped us realise that the 'bouncing-off-the-walls' penetrative sex we had when we first met in our mid-20s is no longer possible, or even appropriate. Lives move on, we are different people now, we've had different experiences, our sexual abilities and tastes have changed.
So does it matter that I can't achieve a sustainable erection? Probably not. Does it matter that Mrs Strokie suffers from occasional bouts of vaginal dryness which can make penetration downright painful? Probably not, because we have the enthusiasm, the will to look for our sexual enjoyment in other, less obvious, ways.
I've talked before here about our growing collection of sex toys but, with the help of a friend, we are now starting to explore the delights of tantric sex - sex based around the weaving and expansion of sexual energy within our bodies. It is also a very slow style of sex, a world away from the mostly male-dominated thinking which says that sex must be over in 20 minutes, must have involved the woman and (definitely) the man having had at least one orgasm and must end with each of them covered in each other's sexual juices.
Tantric sex doesn't work like that. We are only just beginning to explore and we are still very much at the learner-driver stage, but it's going to be an interesting journey.
We're also willing to try things we would never previously have considered. Heard of the Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar? Neither had we until this week. Then another friend mentioned it, so I found their website at brumbazaar.co.uk, joined their Facebook group - and found that three people who I know well are among the group's 1800 members.
We'll be there this coming Sunday - will you? If you are, you could always try to unmask The Sensual Strokie.....
But I also did it for me and my wife; I was that survivor who didn't want to let go. And over the last few months, writing this blog has helped us massively. It has introduced us to new ways of thinking, new ways of enjoying and appreciating our sexuality.
I think the most important thing it has done is helped us realise that the 'bouncing-off-the-walls' penetrative sex we had when we first met in our mid-20s is no longer possible, or even appropriate. Lives move on, we are different people now, we've had different experiences, our sexual abilities and tastes have changed.
So does it matter that I can't achieve a sustainable erection? Probably not. Does it matter that Mrs Strokie suffers from occasional bouts of vaginal dryness which can make penetration downright painful? Probably not, because we have the enthusiasm, the will to look for our sexual enjoyment in other, less obvious, ways.
I've talked before here about our growing collection of sex toys but, with the help of a friend, we are now starting to explore the delights of tantric sex - sex based around the weaving and expansion of sexual energy within our bodies. It is also a very slow style of sex, a world away from the mostly male-dominated thinking which says that sex must be over in 20 minutes, must have involved the woman and (definitely) the man having had at least one orgasm and must end with each of them covered in each other's sexual juices.
Tantric sex doesn't work like that. We are only just beginning to explore and we are still very much at the learner-driver stage, but it's going to be an interesting journey.
We're also willing to try things we would never previously have considered. Heard of the Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar? Neither had we until this week. Then another friend mentioned it, so I found their website at brumbazaar.co.uk, joined their Facebook group - and found that three people who I know well are among the group's 1800 members.
We'll be there this coming Sunday - will you? If you are, you could always try to unmask The Sensual Strokie.....
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