How shutting down one of our senses enhances others

When I sit down once a fortnight to write this blog, I do so with the assumption that my readers have gone past the point of being satisfied with 'ordinary' penetrative sex.

That might be because the effects of a stroke have made penetrative sex difficult or impossible, or it may be because they are no longer satisfied with 'just' having penetrative sex. It may also be because they and their partner have 'grown past' penetrative sex and are looking for something more in their relationship. As someone pointed out to me this week, the 'bouncing off the ceiling' sex we enjoyed in our twenties is probably neither possible nor appropriate when we are in our 50s, whether we have had a stroke or not.

Too many of us, men in particular, wish we could go back to those days - the days when we could call up a nine-inch erection on demand, when we could cum four times a night, when we could change positions every half-hour and still have a screaming orgasm. But what happens when that's not possible, due to age or illness?

Over the next few weeks, I'm going to look at some alternatives; Alternatives which, when we are young and healthy, we might add to our menu but which, when we are no longer young and healthy, become the main dish. This week, I want to look at how we can enjoy one of the senses other than sight.

When we are young and healthy, the sight of our partner laying back and enjoying it (and possibly playing with themselves) as we thrust into them is what brings most men to orgasm. But 30 years on, things can be different; the automatic nine-inch erection is no longer there and the more we stress about the fact that it's no longer there, the less likely it is to happen.

So why not enjoy the sense of touch, instead? And why not heighten the sense of touch by closing down the sense of sight? Most good sex-toy websites or shops sell blindfolds from as little as £5 each. My wife and I bought some recently and we have started wearing one while our partner strokes  our body and plays with our genitals.

The sense of expectation when you cannot see what your partner is doing and you have no idea whether she is going to put a nipple in your mouth, rub her breasts across your stomach or your balls, or play with herself and suddenly push your face into her pussy is immense.

There is no pressure on you to 'perform'; it matters not whether you cum; what you are doing is going beyond simple penetrative sex and exploring your other senses. As someone said to me recently, 'Sex isn't just in-and-out, cum and that's it. As we get older and more experienced, we grow past that.'

My wife and I are enjoying discovering that. I recommend you try it.

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