Pump up the volume

I've started using a new toy this week. Well, it's not actually a toy, more a device or a piece of equipment.

I've bought a penis pump. There you are, I've said it. I've accepted that my middle-aged, stroke-affected penis needs some help. And not just from Mrs SS (or, indeed, from me); this is a different kind of help. The idea is that having your penis in an artificially-created vacuum for an extended (sorry!) period of time will eventually help it become firmer and, yes, longer.

It's not a quick process, obviously; I don't expect that using the pump for 10-15 minutes a day or more will instantly restore the kind of raging erection I could summon up at will in my mid-20s. I'm not entirely sure I'd want it to do so, to be honest. Our sex life has changed since then, as documented in this blog. We do different things in different ways, discovering them has been exciting and interesting and anyway, I'm not sure my heart could cope with the kind of bouncing-off-the-ceiling sex which a raging erection on demand led to.

Every man would like their penis to be longer/thicker than it is, while every man has a misguided opinion about every other man's penis. Having been involved in naturism for 30 years, I've seen an awful lot of naked dicks from the tiny to the (very rarely) humongous and every single one of them was just fine.

They all did the jobs they were intended to do and anyway, apart from the ridiculous and probably very expensive idea of surgery, every one of their owners are stuck with what they've got.

So why have I bought it? Curiosity, I suppose. I'm interested to find out whether an item which is a staple product of sex shops actually works. And my early experience is that it may well do so - if  you temper your expectations.

For those who have never seen or tried one, this is how it works. The device comprises a plastic tube into which you insert your penis (having lubricated both your dick and the tube to help the process along) and you have to ensure that the tube is firmly up against your body so that no air can escape.

You then begin to pump air into the tube - and your penis does grow. It's an interesting experience and if, like me, you are uncircumcised it can be slightly scary/strange seeing your foreskin slide back inside the tube to expose the head, seemingly without any visible assistance.

When I first did it, memories of a stonking nine-inch erection did come flooding back - because that's what I had. Of course, I was fully aware that it was only there because the artificial vacuum was preventing real life (and fresh air) coming in and ruining it, but it was very nice to see.

I kept the tube clamped on for 15-20 minutes before getting bored, to be honest. Because that's the thing about a penis pump - it takes time. It takes a certain amount of time every day and, I suspect, months rather than weeks before the artificial vacuum has an effect and expands the veins in your penis, leading to more blood-flow and a longer, thicker, erection.

But I'm going to persevere. It is an ego-boost to see your penis growing to long-forgotten lengths every day and it does change your mind-set if you expect to get results (which is often the way these things work).

Was it worth it? Ask me (and Mrs SS) in six months. But if you don't try, you'll never find out.

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